'Twas just before Santy
came, the story is told.
Cattle weren't stirrin',
fact they's bunched against the cold.
The tack was hung near
the chuckwagon with care.
Why, we didn't know Santy
was close anywhere.
Cowboys on the ground
were wishin' for their beds
While nightmares of wild
steers ran through their heads.
'Tween now and the next
gather, we needed a nap.
Cookie had just finished,
and tied down the flap.
When out past the cavvy,
there rose such a fuss,
I sprang to my feet,
leavin' the bedroll a muss,
And grabbin' my shotgun
and my ragged ol' hat
I run t'ward the racket
thinkin' "...what'n thunder's that?"
When thoughts of
amazement through my head courses,
It was a buckboard teamed
up with draft horses,
A driver in red
buckskins, so spry and dainty,
I know'd in an instant,
it must be ol' Santy.
Quicker than jackrabbits,
them horses they came,
And, he's shoutin'
commands to each one by name...
"Get a step, Joe!. One
more, Prince!. On, Big Ed!
Pick it up, Sam! Tighten
up, Lou! On, Old Ned!
Don't spook the cavvy,
back away from them pens,
You're a pullin' this
wagon like a bunch of ol' hens!
Now, when I haul on these
lines I mean to stop.
Hold up in this cow-camp
like a ton of cow flop!"
They sat down in their
riggin', like I knew they would,
With a wagon of goodies
... made of leather and wood.
Then, in a twinklin'
with no further delay,
He said, "Back it up,
boys, this here ain't no sleigh".
I couldn't believe my
ears, and lookin' around,
Off that wagon ol' Santy
came with a bound.
He was short, and his
chinks reached near to his toes.
He was happy and fat,
with a little red nose.
There was a ton of
packages and some new tack,
And, ol' Santy was
carryin' it all on his back.
His eyes sort of
bloodshot, much like a cherry,
From 'rastlin' them
horses clean across the prairie.
His lips was plumb
puckered, his mouth drawn and droll,
(Mine got that way, the
day I swallered my Skoal.)
He was holdin' a piggin'
string tight in his teeth,
Not fer' tie down, but
for tyin' 'up' a fine wreath.
His head was too big and
he had a round belly,
No doubt derived from
eatin' Texas Chili.
He's chubby and plump all
right, I'd say quite jolly.
I laughed plumb out loud
when I seen him, by golly.
He winked his bloodshot
eye, and spat 'tween his lips,
And, it made me to know
we were all in the chips.
He weren't much for
chatter, just done what was due,
Givin' presents and
goodies to the whole durn crew.
Then, he stuck his finger
in his wee little ear,
Wallered it around and
said, "We're through bein' here".
He fled to the wagon, and
his team called 'em up,
"Come on you swaybacks
... what's the dad-burn holdup?
We won't be back till
next year 'cause we're flat broke.
Merry Christmas, my eye,
I just busted a spoke!"