'Twas the night before
Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a
surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked
by the modem with care,
In hopes that St.
Nicholas soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled
all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java
danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and
me with a snack,
We just settled down at
my rig (it's a Mac).
When out in the Web there
arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to
see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew
like a flash,
Then made a slight
gurgle. It started to crash!!
I gasped at the thought
and started to grouse,
Then turned my head
sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page
that wasn't quite clear.
When the image resolved,
so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it
must be St. Nick!
More rapid than
mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward
my screen, my Mac called them by name;
"Now Compaq! Now Acer!",
my speaker did reel;
"On Apple! On Gateway!"
Santa started to squeal!
"Jump onto the circuits!
And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it
up! Make this thing hip!"
The screen gave a
flicker, he was into my RAM,
Then into my room rose a
full hologram!
He was dressed in all
red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the
white socks he really should lose).
He pulled out some discs
he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude
who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they
twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa
that I used to know!
With a wink of his eye
and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I
had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave
my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive
with only a stroke.
He defragged my hard
drive, and added a SIMM,
Then threw in some cool
games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise,
his fingers they flew!
He distorted some
pictures with Kai's Power Goo!
He updated Office, Excel
and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver
with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my
mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest
version of Netscape.
The drive gave a whirl,
as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled,
the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger
on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing
but ones and zeros!
He flew back into my
screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with
barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet
voice as he flew from my sight,
"Happy surfing to all,
and to all a good byte!"